Bmbx

She hate me, she hates me more than I do, she hates me more than loves me, she never loved and never relied on me like I did with her. I thought that anybody can hurt and betray me and wouldn’t be shocked about it. But never her, we could fight we could hurt each other but something changed and everything never will be same

But it didn’t. I truly understood that all my life I wanted to fit into smart kid image, I tried and tried but it was never enough and honestly I wasn’t so good at it. I just want to have fun like all people of my age. Promised fun university life was the biggest lie in my life I guess.

She still let her in laws treat her like 💩 and stand with the legally ex-husband that beats her, I hate to say that but she provokes him herself to him to beat her and us. GIRL U LITERALLY DIVORCED U DONT HAVE TO STAY IN THIS F HOUSE !!! And don’t even think about putting “but the kids” card !! We’re all now adults !! U can leave anytime and don’t look back ! She always whines about everyone in this house hating her, when I was kid I felt horribly guilty when I heard that but now I’m only disgusted by her. #mommyissues #destrustivefamily

I tried to turn my Asian face into 18 yo daughter of hotel owner in north state #twinpeaks #twinpeakscosplay #audreyhornecosplay

I don’t know how to start so I decided to search for support and mentor(?) #buddha #buddhism

I’m too relaxed or too worried about any stuff at home. Bonus point for not having room and any personal space. #study #uni

For 10 years she never saw me as a close friend?! I know that she’s kind of egomaniacal and she said that calling loser like me a friend is lame for her. But I hope that end of our friendship was hurtful for her as much as for me. I just dream about her regretting losing me but it’s just loser dream. I’m still not over it it’s still hurts badly. I still can’t believe that someone will be happy to talk to me and not ashamed of me… If she learns about it she will just laugh. Mini her is still sitting in my head and laughing at everything I do. #toxicfriendship

Like no 🏴‍☠️ at all?

I take “little things” too seriously because nothing more exist to me, I only see violence and ignorance. It’s mostly verbal and no big deal but it becomes big when I have nothing more in my life. I think I need help.

Sometimes I just can’t grab my phone and open messengers. Sometimes I miss important stuff and everyone gets mad at me. Does anybody have problem like that? Or I’m the only one with horrible ghosting habit? #mentalhealth #habit #ghosting

Financial problems, being bullied, sick grandma, toxic family. I wish I was that pretty bubbly girl with infinite positivity from screen… #losercore

And the most confusing part is that question came from girl with same name as mine, we’re both was typical Kazakh girls in Kazakhstan…

But it’s haunting me. I ignore this sh!t but I really got triggered with similar scenes in shows and books. I thought that I’m strong person and thing on the screen won’t make me panic. Mayer I just put all responsibility on this childhood trauma. I’m sick of how I’m stuck in my worst phase ever

I’m tired of doing high buns and ponytails and still feeling hair on my sweaty neck and face. Which short haircut will look pretty on me without making me look like toddler or angry Slavic auntie?

I just want to find “my people” and this strong passion can lead me to some cult I think