nathan xavier

Baldie the best look ngl

Most underrated part of the cut

Just like the good times?

It's going to happen soon too I can see it for you

My sign to go even lower

why why why

I saw the unseen and this is what happened

Think now be now see now. Live in the now. No where else but now. Stop thinking about what’s next or what already happened, and just be here. that's it. This moment right now. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, right now.

Watching these routines back is like watching film. I'm seeing how I can maximize my time better if I didn't spend so much time driving. How can I cut down on driving? Instead of going straight home from work, the gym is otw, I can stop by and get my workout in and then get back home with much more time for other things, like editing, cooking, etc. Or even if I go before work, work would be a shorter drive after. What am I willing to sacrifice in order to live this new routine? Not necessarily more time, but cutting down on unnecessary time spent doing idle things for rn. Maybe I get back into that 4 AM routine through this again, we'll see what I become of this.

Took the weekend to not record anything and it was nice to take a lil break. I burn out because I get so tunnel visioned in trying to do the most w/ out breaks, and then I end up not sticking to it. I'd now rather be able to stick with something long term by taking it at a comfortable pace, rather than trying to speed run my way to injury. I’m realizing that consistency doesn’t mean intensity, it means sustainability. The goal isn’t to exhaust myself trying to do everything at once, it’s to keep showing up in a way that I can actually maintain. I’d rather move slow and steady with intention than sprint blind and burn out before I even get started

Oct 19 I was supposed to run my first marathon. This summer I was training hard, minimum 5 miles a day, 50 miles a week, I was doing good. Then I went on a weekend trip and decided to do a 100m race in gravel, all out sprint. I got cooked and at the end I strained my hamstring, fell, cut my hands and back, and couldn't walk for a solid 2 weeks without pain. I tried to rush back and it just made everything worse. It pains me that I felt like I worked a lot harder than usual for this and slipped up at the sight of competition. My ego told me I must win that race and completely forgot about prior commitments. My fault 100%, and now I probably gotta wait until after winter to get this done. Maybe it's redirection though, just in a painful manner. I knew I was going to be able to finish that marathon, but doing it under 3:20? I wasn't so sure. This gives me the time to build that confidence and belief that I can. Just tryna have a positive outlook on a meh situation. We back running tho, very light

I stopped cutting hair after college because I didn't feel fulfilled anymore doing it. I loved I was able to meet new people, strengthen bonds I already had, and have memorable conversations, but a part of me felt like this wasn't my purpose. I asked myself what would younger me want, what would younger me appreciate, and it lead me back to why I started in the first place. I just wanted to learn how to cut my own hair. I learned how to do so off YouTube tutorials of barbers cutting others, because there was barely any self cut tutorials out at that time. So I started a series of doing 10 different self cuts as raw hour long tutorials, because that's something that would've helped me a lot. I feel fulfillment again helping others learn to cut their own hair. It's like I am becoming the big brother to my previous self continuously. Shameless plug but yt in my bio to learn to cut ya own hair 🙂‍↕️

I noticed that this year my music taste took a drastic turn. I was into UK grime, rap, trap, HEAVY, then all of a sudden it switched to indie, soul, alternative r&b, etc. idk what it is but I feel much more calm, no rage and anger in me when I'm listening to music. I felt a newfound sense of relatability to artists like Malcolm Todd, 54 Ultra, Clairo. Maybe it's just as I got older shit changes, but I'm glad it did. I dip and dabble every here nd there to my old taste, but this new shi man, wow. I love it. It showed me how much of an impact music has on your thoughts, and I'm thinking better thoughts about myself and the world I'm experiencing with this new music. Is this growth? Maybe. I like tho.

"V." What started off as a joke of a project in high school about vasectomies, turned to a cheesy nba2k17 username, to Visio, Visionary. Who would've known that following my vision would have got me to where I am today. 18 yr old me visualized the life I am living now, but sometimes I feel like I am taking it for granted because I'm visualizing something different for myself now that I am where I once envisioned myself to be. I should enjoy and cherish the position I am in now, because it's setting the foundation to where I will be next. The vision is getting clearer with clarity and patience. But what I'm seeing now is that the vision wasn't about arriving, it's always been about becoming, embodying, embracing.

I stopped posting because I let the numbers get to my head. I couldn’t replicate the numbers I once did, and I let that make me forget about the reason why I started this all, to help others, to inspire others. Part of it was me not wanting to do hair stuff anymore, part of it was just overthinking and losing the motivation to show up, losing myself in the process as well. I used to pride myself on consistency and trying new things, then all of a sudden I felt pressure, got scared, and left. I don’t want to make promises, I just want to share my days again and hope it inspires someone the way it once did.